The Inevitable Decline Into Loss, Pain, Madness, And Death.

I know I harp on this and it gets old. From my sexual abuse as a child, my alcoholism and the horrible things I did while a drunkard. My being beaten by an ex-boyfriend whom I thought I would marry. The breakup of my one and only lesbian relationship. My back injury, my hysterectomy, my fibromyalgia. Watching my husband grow sicker and sicker, closer to death, after only 10 years of marriage. My too-shaky a grasp on sanity after all this and the horrible depression through which I suffer.

I had a long discussion this evening with my 16 year old about how he feels watching his father slowly die. How he feels like it isn’t worth it. How nothing has a point, there is no meaning. How he wishes his father would hurry up and die instead of lingering and suffering and how that makes him feel like a terrible terrible person.

I am not the only one suffering as I watch my husband die. I don’t know how to help my 16 year old step-son and it’s painful to watch his journey as he watches his father slowly change from a strong vibrant man into a dying person who gets winded walking from the sofa to the bathroom.

Anne

Another Model Wearing A Bikini That Would Fit In My Stories (For A While)

Until the snake that had swallowed her whole digested her alive over a period of 16 to 24 days before the shock and pain of being digested alive finally killed her.

Imagine The Bikini As Transparent Plastic

Hmm. Gotten a nasty horrible disgusting idea for a story thinking about all this. It’ll either get you really wet when you read it or it’ll disgust you entirely, one or the other 🙂 That story will be my next post, and the WSP story pt 2 will be soon, promise.

I live, btw. Been having a ton of extra back and leg pain this past week. Of course, my 80 year old father has been in the hospital on the brink of death himself- his gall bladder has basically exploded in his abdomen and they’ve had him in a medically induced coma since they brought him in, tube down his throat and everything, until the infection goes down and they can treat him.

I don’t want to deal with my parents dying right now. But he’s 80 and my mom’s almost 70, and my husband is dying as well. I can’t deal with all this- I’m not that strong.