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Women Swallowed Alive By Snakes

The Spiral Is Whirling Quickly Now

Rudy got out of the hospital last week. On a late Friday night. Took forever to get out as the residents at the hospital kept giving conflicting discharge orders and the nurses (one of which could barely speak English- she was Asian, probably Japanese as her name was Hiroko) had to keep running back and forth to get things figured out. Later that night we had to ignore one of the orders as it was to stop taking his potassium supplement (!) and he started feeling low potassium symptoms within hours. Sigh.

Ennyways, on Sunday afternoon we headed to a hotel so that on Monday morning Rudy could start heading to his appointments at one of the hospitals in Seattle. To see about the possibility of getting into the waiting list for heart/lung transplants. None of us figured he had much of a chance, but any chance is better than no chance.

Any hope is better than no hope.

Robbie and Rudy and I stayed the night in a hotel. It was very nice and very low cost, thank Glob. (Bloody keyboard is acting up, sorta- not registering some key strokes. Sigh.) Rudy didn’t sleep much as it was a flat bed (we have an adjustable bed at home and the head of the bed is always up at least 15 degrees) and while we brought a bunch of pillows, it’s not the same as the actual head of the bed being up.

Next morning we headed in with Rudy in his wheelchair and Robbie pushing it. Robbie turned 18 last month which is good and bad- bad as when (if!) he graduates high school we stop getting disability supplement for him which means we get $600 LESS each month from that point. *POOF* goes the house as we no longer will be able to make the house payments…

Ennyways. When Rudy was discharged, his legs were very thick, very filled with fluid. Can’t remember the word I am looking for, grrrr my aging brain. By the time we were going to his appointments on Monday morning, his feet had become great fleshy meat pumpkins and his legs were shiny the skin was so stretched. So after a few hours of seeing docs, guess what happened next?

Sigh. My husband, the only man I have ever loved in my entire life, the love of my life, was admitted to the hospital. So far away from our home- I haven’t been able to see him since Tuesday when I had to leave to come home and take care of the house and our dogs and our cats (sadly, the hamster died a month or two ago- little bastards tend to do that).

I fear his death spiral is whirling quickly now, the whirlpool of his life spinning and whirring and at the bottom the black hole where it all leads. I am terrified he may never come home or if he does, he’ll come back on hospice and die at home instead.

If he does die soon, or if he comes home on hospice and dies here, be prepared. I will keep everyone filled in on what is happening, kinda like I always do 🙂 and if he does go, I will alert you all because when he does finally go whether it is in days or months or years (Glob help me, give me years!)…

This blog will go black for I don’t know how long. I know I’m going to have my relatives and in-laws and parents and all put me on family suicide watch- I don’t want to die and I have my kids to think of but who knows what people do in the throes of grief.

I will do my damnedest to come back when I can, when I go black after my husband dies. Just preparing you all and myself for this because I am so scared that the end is close.


February 27, 2014 - Posted by | Another Late Post, Bleakest Despair, Clinical Fucking Depression, Friday's Post, Generalized Rambling, Husband's Illness, Monday's Update, Mourning, Sword Of Bananas, Terribly Worried, Wednesday's update, Weekend Post, Whining, Yo

1 Comment »

  1. I’m sorry to hear about Ruby. I’m keeping you, Rudy and your family in my prays, Know that people are here that love and care for you. I love you and don’t want anything bad to happen to you. So please, please don’t do anything to yourself. Please make that promise to me. I know losing a loved one is a very hard thing to do. I miss you Anne, one day I hope to catch you online so we can chat and maybe help cheer you up a little. I’m working and posting a new comic for you on eka’s.

    Comment by Blackrain | February 27, 2014 | Reply

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